Dear QdT

[Athenais]

I dunno why I thought this was funny... but here's a sample of a dear Abby letter. I keep thinking about how Bohemians, or Lucien, or Aloysius would reply:

How do I deal with a husband who seems to hate everyone and everything in life? He hates his job. He hates the fact that he has to be responsible for his elderly father, even though his father still lives on his own but can no longer drive. (I help out on that one.) He hates being responsible for me and our two children.
His latest rant is racism. If you are not a member of his race, then he hates you. And he hates women.

Abby, I am tired! I am not a hateful person. I do not judge others by their color. The way I see it, there is good and bad in every race. Could he be going through a mid-life crisis? He is 47 years old. What can I do to either defuse him or somehow keep the peace? He is not listening to a word I say. -- FED UP IN GLEN ALLEN, VA.

(Actual letter, I'm just not creative at this hour... 3pm)

[Adela]

Dear Fed Up,

I have three words for you: Kill the bastard. Seriously, don't you have a river in Glen Allen? I'm told they are excellent for hiding bodies. Then, go out, find yourself a job that excentuates your liberation, take smoking hot lovers for when you need them, but why concern yourself with marriage? It only causes indigestion. I may consider my own advice...

Sincerely, Adela

[couldn't resist ]

[Athenais]

[WAHAHAHA, yes]

[Jeannot]

Dear Fed Up,

...Pipere? <:/

-Jeannot

[Athenais]

[*dies*]

[Athenais]

My most dearest Fed Up,

Such uncivilized and boorish companions are not worth your energy to endure. If a partner refuses to rehabilitate or quash their dubious ways in such a manner that they are an entirely different person than you were first attracted to, then you are in full rights to vacate the premises. And come stay at mine... I've enclosed my address and three hundred francs, you sound absolutely charming....
Most humanely,
-Augustine

[Wolfe]

My Dear Fed Up,

It doesn't take a master detective to conclude that if your husband is so full of hate, there's a good chance he hates you, too, in which case you should divorce him, at least for the sake of your children. Although with his excessive emotional level, he may be dead before you know it, so do not fret! And invest in a tutor for yourself while you're at it; you seem to have missed a lesson in basic common sense.

-Wolfe